Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sisterhood of the travelling Kymaro Curve Control Jeans

This is another product that aggravatingly does not have an embeddable commercial. Probably because it would blow too many people's faces off with it's amazingness. You must stop you are doing and watch the commercial for the Kymaro Curve Control Jeans now. The long version.

You're welcome.

Real talk: We all own Spanx, or some knockoff, right? Well, here's your chance to cut out the middlegirdle, and go for the gold: pants that ARE a girdle. Think of it as denim sausage casing. Heinously ugly, poorly hemmed, denim sausage casing.

An actual line from the commercial: "It's not your fault you can't fit into those tight, restricting jeans. It's the jean's fault!"

No. It's is objectively your fault. You either ate/reclined yourself to another size and your old pants don't fit -- or you just flat-out purposefully purchased jeans that don't fit! IT IS YOUR FAULT.

Also suspicious -- this lady is clearly in a resale/thrift store, but she's complaining about the price of designer jeans. See how each item is completely different than the one next to it? How the tags are huge and not uniform in placement? Thrift store. Two hundred to 300 dollar jeans have never crossed the threshold of that place.


As someone who worked in retail for a several years, I can assure you that these ladies do not suffer from some debilitating condition that is unsolvable by anything but television jeans, and therefore do not deserve your pity. They need jeans with more stretch, a bigger size and a rise that's so high it covers their belly buttons. Go to the Levi's store. Do not buy your pants from your television.

Stats: $39.95 + S&H for one pair
Comes with a free bottom shaper.
Can help ladies out who are so mad that they make this face at their current jeans:


Pros: Supposedly can cure what I've christened "Flat Butt Syndrome."



Cons: How are you going to turn heads at the bar without your trusty "rear end cleavage?"



Verdict: Do not buy. I repeat: Do not buy your pants from your television.

25 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! I love watching infomercials, mostly because one time I turned on TV and Mr. T was selling a toaster oven.

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  2. Okay, you are saying not to buy. But, you didn't offer any kind of actual review. Have you tried these jeans? Sure, it's my fault I'm fat but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve to look as good as I can with what I've got.

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  3. I bought these jeans. I will admit that its not exactly how the commercial put them out there. I do also have to admit that they are very comfortable and yes they do help with holding and molding. If they were not so expensive or offered some sort of flex pay I would order a few more. They run alittle larger, so maybe its my fault. I do not agree with the postings above. I would encourage plus size ladies to try a pair. They really are a great pair of jeans.

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  4. OMG I saw this commercial the other day and watched it for a good 15 minutes. The people looked disgusting in those jeans, way too tight, I also thought they looked like sausage casings. Also all the women that looked bad in their before jeans were wearing jeans 3 sizes to small, and jeans with unflattering whiskers/bleaching. That line about it being the jeans fault was a real gem, it had me cracking up. Then I went to the gym after because that commercial grossed me out, the idea of having such sloth that you just stuff yourself into some "magic mom jeans" instead of getting in shape...

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  5. If they would come up with a better style for the jeans I might fall for it.

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  6. I wrote the same thing to the Oprah Show.Everyone who is selling jeans shows models that have a hip or butt problem,but a somewhat flat belly. I never see anyone with a belly problem. I'm talking about one that sticks out like a 4 mo pregnancy not just muffing tops. Invent something that fixes that problem!Maybe you shouldnt wear jeans if you're built like that,but I'm in the horse business, and I dont want to wear elastic waistband denium slacks even at 58.

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  7. It sounds like you are reviewing the infomercial, not the product. I agree, the infomercial is tacky and silly, they intentionally distort the women by placing them in horrible looking jeans beforehand to make the outcome appear much better, but what informercial doesn't? That is the whole point of people selling something and I hope the public is savvy enough to figure that out. Tacky infomercial aside, do you know whether or not they actual work and are worth the relatively inexpensive price? Because $39.95 is cheaper than a pair of jeans from the Gap and if they make you feel/look better, it seems worth it to me. I haven't tried them, so I don't know. Are you suggesting that people not buy a product you haven't even tried? If you have tried them -which I'm assuming you have since you're titling this a review- then please include some info on how they fit.

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  8. Bought them and I love them! They look great on. I know they look a little snug but they feel great. If they came in different colors I'd be all on it.

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  9. I wear a 14 in Levis relax fit, what size would you suggest. The same or as advertise one size down

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  10. I work for a company that sells the Curve Control Jeans, and we recommend if you wear a jean size 13/14 that you purchase an 11/12 and if you wear a jean size 15/16, purchase the 13/14. So, if you wear a 14, go with an 11/12. You'll love them!

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  11. HILARIOUS!!! I just saw this commercial over the weekend.

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  12. I think that the infomercial preys on fat peoples weakspot, looking decent in clothes and making people think they are smaller. I feel that the "unsuspecting" women they use in the commercial are obviously wearing jeans that are 2 or 3 sizes too small with horrible bleaching, horrible stitching and fading. They then take these same ladies and squeeze their fat into these horrible curve control jeans, and by miracle, these ladies have "lost" inches. Well they fit & look like..well...fat squeezed into jeans, like a meat casing. I bought mine off ebay out of curiosity, and bought the 5/6 and they were too big (ok so I'm not fat but have some little issues) the rise was horribly too high, and when I sat down I joked my jeans were touching my boobs (ok they didn't, but darn close). The pockets were huge, which is ok if the jeans are huge, but I felt the pocket size were out of porportion for the size of the jeans. I have no "major" body/fat issues so the jeans did nothing for me. If you are a "average" size girl with small issues don't waste your time or money. The jeans felt "cheap" as I do own designer & gap and could compare them. They look generic (like cheapo walmart jeans) and the hems was horrible. Hems we slightly misaligned AND on one of the legs, it liked they missed stitching the hemmed fabric together, so they just went over it until they got it right it. I could count & visibly see 3 different stitch lines. If price is an issue for you, then go to Walmart. If quality, longetivity in ur wardrobe, and style are important for you, then go to gap (and higher up brands if one can afford) I am the type that when I buy jeans I have then a while (years) and I don't buy often. So a slightly higher cost is acceptable to me for my long term happiness. Since I am not really fat, I am not sure if I can vouch for their fit. Maybe fat people have more issues with fit and they need casing.

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  13. Hi,



    I am trying to understand if this product is really as good as it is advertised. I am puzzled by this Kymaro Video and also Kymaro body shaper reviews I have found. Can you please post you advise here?

    Thank you

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  14. I usually wear a size 1-2 (stretch). In 2005, when I was 37 I used a size 00-0 (non stretch). I gained 29 pounds, going from 97lbs to 126lbs. I am 41 now and I am frustrated not being able to lose the spare tire around my waist and the pregnant look alike belly. Being a petite (short) girl of only 5 foot 1 the weight gain shows real bad, plus I am very unhealthy now! Seldom eat, don't like fat/ fried food, don't like sweets/ snacks, yet still... Of course I have been exercising but with a heart disease it is very hard... I do not think the Kymaro jeans look bad and tight at all and would love to try a pair if Kymaro can advise me on a size. I feel so yucky looking at myself in the mirror... Please help...

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  15. I wanted to buy a pair, but I live in Canada. The Company that sells them in Canada interwood.com is no longer carrying them. Once they sell out of their stock - thats it. They have sold out of my size. :(
    Perhaps this is a blessing? I am just looking for a good pair of jeans that will tuck in my tummy. I hate the low rise jeans. They are for girls with flat tummies and no love handles.

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  16. OKAY EVERYONE THAT COMMENTED ABOVE!!!
    1. for people who do go to the gym, but want to look good now, before they are at their desired body fat %, the jeans are great.
    I bought them in a very small size, as I have a small frame.
    2. they do help alot because jeans, which are designed to stay "UP" by holding somewhere...can cause unnecessary LINES of fat, evEN IF THE PERSON ISN"T FAT!
    3. they are comfy and don't put undue pressure on your intestines.. thank GOD they are higher up then most jeans, but they still look cool
    4. yes they are thin, but that is great, because it makes them more comfy...
    5. I also wish they made other colors... I too would buy them, I was just looking online to see that.
    SO... to whoever wrote this... yes the commercial is goofy, but have you ever been skinny and then gained weight while trying to get healthy?
    have you ever had a body image issue? because you don't look like someone in a magazine..
    well these jeans, along with eating healthy, working out, reducing stress, and feeling good about yourself, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU LOOK.. is key.. BUT BELIEVE ME... for someone who needs to lose 15lbs. to be as skinny as possible... these jeans make you feel like you only have 5 to loose. So try them out.. I am sure you can find a way to make more money or to save up for them.. And if you don't like them, send them over my way.

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  17. There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That’s a great point to bring up. women’s designer jeans

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  24. I have bought 4 pair of them! Love them! about to buy 2 more (lost a few lbs) Just wish they made other colors or at least jet black..the 29' inseam is perfect for me (5'4) but also bought in reg lenght to wear w/ heels.Cheezy Info-mercial yes..bad product..NO!

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