Thursday, December 11, 2008

Vince with ShamWow creeps me out.

Really. Wouldn't he be better suited selling tapes of breast-enhancing exercises or psychic readings? Why does he have to be the face (ugh -- and the voice) of these weird towels I kind of want?

Stats: $14.99 for 4 large and 4 mini ShamWows
Holds up to 20 times its weight in liquid

Also -- made in Germany. A point that Vince highlights in the spot, and that YouTube commenters Raindogs111 and prothonotar helpfully analyze for us.

Raindogs111 (3 months ago)
You know what else was made in Germany?
prothonotar (3 months ago)
Actually Hitler was made in Austria.

Pros: The absorbency is pretty mesmerizing.

Cons: Vince is lying to you. a) No family unit in the history of time has ever spent $20/month on paper towels. If I am somehow wrong, and your family is, you should just invest in a wetvac. b) Listen closely at 1:25 into the infomercial. Vince is supposedly saying "this lasts ten years," in reference to the ShamWow -- but it's not actually Vince. He is holding a ShamWow in front of his mouth, and the his voice has been DUBBED! What secrets are hidden behind that sopping ShamWow's facade?

Verdict: Do not buy.

"So the other day, I was trying to get a bunch of cola out of my pie pan -- and my normal towel just wasn't cutting it, you know?" - No one, ever.


  1. I *love* Vince. I would buy virtually anything he was selling. I think it's because he's not very needy, y'know? He's so matter-of-fact. Why WOULDN'T you buy these, he seems to say. Question I have:

    When you try to wash these in your washing machine, if you put them all in, does it soak up all the water and gunk things up?

    What if you licked a ShamWow? What if you ate it?

  2. It boils down to this: The headset. It exudes professionalism. It says "I'm a professional". Professionals don't lie. Buy ShamWow.

  3. Seriously...this is all my mother wanted for Christmas and I totally bought 'em. I'm a sucker for the headset, I guess.