Sunday, June 7, 2009

Say goodbye to waterbras -- and hello to hair stuffing!

Are you humiliated by your natural flatness? Would you consider plastic enhancements to increase your sex appeal? Is your child's appearance just not "flirty" enough? Are you from Baltimore?

Then, my friends, Bump Its (Bum Pits?) are the answer for you.

Bum pits are basically the falsie of the hair world. You hide them in your ratty nest of a mane and voila! You no longer have to shout at your hair. Like this poor lady.

As you may have noticed, at about 37 seconds into the infomercial they call this child, modeling the Bum Pit, "flirty."

... Since we're friends here, I can openly admit that as a child I was a princessaholic. Every Halloween, every birthday party, and heck, usually every other day, I was rocking a princess costume. Thanks to this life experience and expertise, I can assure you that while I wanted very desperately to appear regal, glamorous and elegant -- if someone called me "flirty," or suggested I stuff something into my princess costume (and please note that a tiara is a crucial part of a princess costume) that would make it appear more "flirty," I would have alerted the authorities.

Stats: $19.99 + S&H for two large, two mini bang, and one "hollywood" Bum Pits.
Bum Pits volumizing inserts stay firmly in your hair. No matter what style you are bumpin'!

Can give you that extra "umph" when teasing just isn't enough. No, seriously, the first step to using Bum Pits is to tease your hair. Imagine if first step to use the slap chop was to chop your food with a normal knife.

Cons: People may mistake you for that alien from Mars Attacks.

Verdict: No thanks, hon.


  1. Bumpits area knock off of a product called Vidal Sassoon Hair Poufs which work great. They give just enough pouf so it looks natural and trendy not crazy Rockstar! They are the ORIGINAL Hair Bumping Styling Tool. The imitation is madeout of plastic and has teeth that show through the hair. I agree no thanks hon.

  2. This is on the "9 Stupidest Products Ever" list:

    I think you could do wonders reviewing the other 8 products.

  3. We just started selling these at CVS. Every time I look at them, I think that "bumpit" sounds like a body part analogous to "armpit."

  4. Bump Its...don't waste your $$$ me!

  5. I bought some. I wish I hadn't. My son asked me why I was wearing a hair piece because "NOBODY has a big lump of hair in the back." I have since put them away. What a waste of $10 lol

  6. The weirdest part of this commercial, dear sister, is that there is no ordering information at the end, just a neat slide show.

    Also, when is your spoiler in your hair high enough? Marge Simpson height?